Here is the transcription of my most recent video blog:
(And here’s the audio on AnchorFM)
Hey everybody, it’s Queen Mab here, and I’m going to follow up my discussion yesterday about time management for musicians with a discussion about another issue that is affecting my practicing, and that is that I have a playing-related injury. I haven’t talked about this in public. I’ve been afraid to. In fact, I’m afraid to be talking about it right now. The reason that I’m doing it is because I have a good friend whose social media presence I very much admire who has an injury herself, and she’s been very, very open about it, and very vocal about it, and I really admire that she’s doing that, because as musicians, there is just so much shame around being injured, and the only way that’s going to go away is if we talk about it. But it isn’t easy to talk about, because the narrative that I have is that if I were a better musician, this would not be happening to me. If my technique were better, if my practicing, time management and ability were better, if my um, awareness of my body…what’s the word for that…my proprioception were better, then this would not be happening. Basically, if I were GOOD, this would not be happening to me.
And I don’t think that’s true, because there’s plenty of very famous musicians who have struggled with these types of injuries. I read about the percussionist Sheila E. and how, when she hit, I think like, I don’t know, her late twenties or her early thirties, she couldn’t play anymore, because she’d been playing timbales in high heels for most of her life, and you know, all of a sudden, everything stopped working. And she was able to work with someone and deal with her injuries and go back to playing, but this brings me to my next point about the playing-related injuries, okay? Sheila E. already had a thriving career at the time that she was dealing with this, okay?
So I have tried a number of things to deal with this injury. I’ve gotten some relief from Alexander Technique, but the problem has been getting in regularly for sessions and also the cost. I tried talking to my GP about it, and she was like “Wear a brace.” And I was like “REALLY, DUDE?!?!? You’re not gonna give me like, physical therapy, or SOMETHING?” No. Wear a brace. Okay? So then I had to watch all these videos and read all these articles to try to figure out how to wear the darn brace…and then, to be honest, I don’t really think it helped that much…so I stopped wearing it.
Then I went to someone here in San Diego who specializes in performance-related injuries, and this person…I came in, she started working with me, she was asking me about what kinds of gigs I get, and what kinds of performances I do, and when she figured out that I’m mostly a teacher with a little bit of freelance stuff here and there, she went, “Oh.” And then she said, “Are you married?” And I spent the whole rest of the session with her trying to figure out why she…why did she speak to me that way. I think she was trying to determine, “Okay, how does she have the money to be paying for this?” Which was really uncomfortable. Because the fact of the matter is that I don’t know if I make enough to effectively treat this injury, which takes me back to…am I even a good enough musician in the first place? Because if I WERE a good enough musician, I would make enough to be able to treat the injury. But I’m not sure if that logic is…I’m not sure if that is a great way to think about it, because there’s just so little information out there, and there’s so few people who seem to understand what we do, and the ones that do understand can get away with charging a lot, so it’s just a difficult situation to be in.
So anyway – if you have an injury, you’re not alone. Know that. There’s nothing wrong with you. Well, other than that you’re injured, but you know, it’s not because you’re a bad musician – that’s the point I’m trying to make. So hey – if you know something about this, leave me a comment, let’s talk about this. Let’s be open about it. And if you like what I’m talking about, then please subscribe, or share this video, or “like” it…or don’t. Thanks, see you next time!